This is what happens at bath time after an increase in chemotherapy medicines.  As if Joaquin losing his hair once isn't bad enough!  Since his treatment is 3 years long, he is expected to lose his hair several more times.  It is not something a mother can ever get accustomed to.  When the hair begins to thin again, it becomes a constant reminder of the cancer his little body is trying to fight.  My first instinct is to shave my own head.  It gives me a sense of control over something I have no power over.  This time rather than doing it in a Britney Spears-esque manner, I will go to Washington DC and do it with 46 other mommas that fight for their children too.  It is a privilege and honor to be one of these courageous mommas.  SEPTEMBER 21..stay tuned.

Back to School Blues...

The back to school feeling the past few years has been awfully bittersweet.  As I see children walking to school down our street, I get the excited fall-is-coming-new-crayons excitement.  Then I remember that my boys wont get that sense of first day of school excitement. At least not for awhile.  I feel the constant urge to remind myself that LIVING is much more about spending time with our loved ones and treasuring the precious moments we have together in health. 


School is only one aspect of life.  On this day we are celebrating our blessing in God allowing us to keep Joaquin.  Keeping Rafael at home with Joaquin has taught him how to be of service to his brother, patience, and the appreciation of the little things like marbles and making pudding.  I hope I am properly taking advantage of my time with the two of them.  The extra time I have them at home is a privilege NOT a burden.  Even if sometimes I like the idea of shooing them off on a bus and having a soap marathon on t.v. while eating chocolate and sipping wine. HA!  I love my boys.  And now, I patiently wait for my box of homeschool goodies to come in the mail. :)

random!

Nachooooooooooo!

Victory

Mucha Lucha

bottoms up

Beastie Boys

Brothers

Clinic companions: conejito knuffle and snoopy

How the H E Double Hockey Sticks did this happen?!...

Now, that I finally am strong enough to NOT cry every time I talk about Joaquin I guess I should tell a bit about how this all came to be....

Not long after Joaquin's 3rd birthday he began to suffer from  bouts of high fevers, a strange rash on his belly and major pain in both his little legs. We finally got a doctor agree to send us to have blood work done.  Joaquin had been on penicillin for over a month and was still having random fevers.  After examing the rash, the Dr. exclaimed (!), "That is not a rash, that's petechia."

 Turns out petechia is not a rash at all, but broken capillaries 
and a major symptom of leukemia. The Dr called us back a

few hours later urging us to go to the hem-onc floor of the

children's hospital and to pack a lot of clothes.  :(  Thats
when I knew. 

We arrived at the hospital and everything happened really fast

after that.  Several tests were done including lots of painful
ones.  The diagnosis came a few day later.  Francisco and I
were ushered into a small conference room and the bomb
was simply dropped.  I feel grateful that our oncologist didn't
try to beat around the bush.  She simply said, "  Your son
has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  We know how to treat it
and it is not the worst of the childhood cancers.  However, he
will have to be on chemotherapy and steroids for the next
three years."  Her eyes teared when she told us.  Those
tears, coming from an experienced oncologist told me more
than she could have ever said. And probably more than I
could handle at that moment. 

We moved into the hospital and that is where our journey
began.  He went through scary chemo, lost his hair. Chemo,
lost his hair again.  Chemo injected into his spine regularly
that pulses through his nervous system and washes over his
still-developing-brain. Two major infections.  One was MRSA
(yes, the flesh eating staph) in his blood stream.  More than
once we thought "crap, this is it...we might actually not come
out of the hospital this time".  By God's loving Grace Joaquin
achieved remission but remains in treatment and will always
tip-toe around the possibility of a relapse. This is what I have
learned since then and I can only speak for myself:

1-Cancer does not necessarily mean a death sentence.

2-When all else is gone...HOPE always remains.  That and
FAITH.

3-It's ok to be pissed at God and curse at him occasionally.
And often on some days. He is forgiving, after all.

4-Useless friends and family get weeded out from the start.
The good ones stay.

5-No one can love life the way pediatric cancer families do.
That is just the way it is. Only a momcologist can appreciate
cleaning up vomit because that means at least our kid is still
eating.

6-There is no such thing as spoiling a cancer kid or allowing
them to eat marshmallows all day.  Especially if thats the
only thing that is appetizing that day.

7-Wine is your friend..really!

8-Big brother's are the best medicine for a child with cancer.

9-Hugging and loving ones children is as necessary as eating.   
It should be done daily and often.


10-Although cancer can be awfully isolating, I try to remember  
my baby is not the first, the only or the last child to fight this 
monster.  And for every child fighting, there is a mother 
fighting with them. 

We achieved remission!  Thought we wouldn't? Because that's how we roll..

Go donate! Hurry Hurry!

 http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/joaquin

By Phone:(888) 899-BALD (2253)
make a donation Download Donation Form »

 

 

 

Yay! First Post!

(random tee that i like-ded)
Diaz familia!
I hope you like the blog! I think peeps will be able to catch up with quini and your guys' whereabouts on here and you can make it fun! :) I love you guys sooOoooOoOooo much! Jesus sure has blessed you along your journey and I could not be happier that you are all so strong despite all the bumps along the way. You know how much you mean to me and I feel so blessed that God has placed such an amazing rockstar family in my life.
Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss :)ooxxooXoXXx
Anjelika Zeee