Now, that I finally am strong enough to NOT cry every time I talk about Joaquin I guess I should tell a bit about how this all came to be....
Not long after Joaquin's 3rd birthday he began to suffer from bouts of high fevers, a strange rash on his belly and major pain in both his little legs. We finally got a doctor agree to send us to have blood work done. Joaquin had been on penicillin for over a month and was still having random fevers. After examing the rash, the Dr. exclaimed (!), "That is not a rash, that's petechia."
Turns out petechia is not a rash at all, but broken capillaries
and a major symptom of leukemia. The Dr called us back a
and a major symptom of leukemia. The Dr called us back a
few hours later urging us to go to the hem-onc floor of the
children's hospital and to pack a lot of clothes. :( Thats
when I knew.
when I knew.
We arrived at the hospital and everything happened really fast
after that. Several tests were done including lots of painful
ones. The diagnosis came a few day later. Francisco and I
were ushered into a small conference room and the bomb
was simply dropped. I feel grateful that our oncologist didn't
try to beat around the bush. She simply said, " Your son
has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. We know how to treat it
and it is not the worst of the childhood cancers. However, he
will have to be on chemotherapy and steroids for the next
three years." Her eyes teared when she told us. Those
tears, coming from an experienced oncologist told me more
than she could have ever said. And probably more than I
could handle at that moment.
ones. The diagnosis came a few day later. Francisco and I
were ushered into a small conference room and the bomb
was simply dropped. I feel grateful that our oncologist didn't
try to beat around the bush. She simply said, " Your son
has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. We know how to treat it
and it is not the worst of the childhood cancers. However, he
will have to be on chemotherapy and steroids for the next
three years." Her eyes teared when she told us. Those
tears, coming from an experienced oncologist told me more
than she could have ever said. And probably more than I
could handle at that moment.
We moved into the hospital and that is where our journey
began. He went through scary chemo, lost his hair. Chemo,
lost his hair again. Chemo injected into his spine regularly
that pulses through his nervous system and washes over his
still-developing-brain. Two major infections. One was MRSA
(yes, the flesh eating staph) in his blood stream. More than
once we thought "crap, this is it...we might actually not come
out of the hospital this time". By God's loving Grace Joaquin
achieved remission but remains in treatment and will always
tip-toe around the possibility of a relapse. This is what I have
learned since then and I can only speak for myself:
began. He went through scary chemo, lost his hair. Chemo,
lost his hair again. Chemo injected into his spine regularly
that pulses through his nervous system and washes over his
still-developing-brain. Two major infections. One was MRSA
(yes, the flesh eating staph) in his blood stream. More than
once we thought "crap, this is it...we might actually not come
out of the hospital this time". By God's loving Grace Joaquin
achieved remission but remains in treatment and will always
tip-toe around the possibility of a relapse. This is what I have
learned since then and I can only speak for myself:
1-Cancer does not necessarily mean a death sentence.
2-When all else is gone...HOPE always remains. That and
FAITH.
FAITH.
3-It's ok to be pissed at God and curse at him occasionally.
And often on some days. He is forgiving, after all.
And often on some days. He is forgiving, after all.
4-Useless friends and family get weeded out from the start.
The good ones stay.
The good ones stay.
5-No one can love life the way pediatric cancer families do.
That is just the way it is. Only a momcologist can appreciate
cleaning up vomit because that means at least our kid is still
eating.
That is just the way it is. Only a momcologist can appreciate
cleaning up vomit because that means at least our kid is still
eating.
6-There is no such thing as spoiling a cancer kid or allowing
them to eat marshmallows all day. Especially if thats the
only thing that is appetizing that day.
them to eat marshmallows all day. Especially if thats the
only thing that is appetizing that day.
7-Wine is your friend..really!
8-Big brother's are the best medicine for a child with cancer.
9-Hugging and loving ones children is as necessary as eating.
It should be done daily and often.
10-Although cancer can be awfully isolating, I try to remember
my baby is not the first, the only or the last child to fight this
monster. And for every child fighting, there is a mother
fighting with them.
It should be done daily and often.
10-Although cancer can be awfully isolating, I try to remember
my baby is not the first, the only or the last child to fight this
monster. And for every child fighting, there is a mother
fighting with them.
| We achieved remission! Thought we wouldn't? Because that's how we roll.. |
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